Podcast dating after divorce
You know, deal breakers for me I don’t want anymore children. Don’t settle today.” You know, and I sent him off his merry way. I would say that I’m totally cool with dating someone who doesn’t have children, but I tend to really, you know, I’d kind of like somebody who already has kids because they understand where I am and where I’m coming from. He’s a wonderful dad and that is extremely attractive to me. You need to go find somebody that wants to give you a baby. I find that, I’m thinking of somebody in particular who’s like a really great guy that I know. But Laura reminds us that it’s worth it to get unstuck! A lot of that had to do with early experiences, and it’s funny, who I am today dating is so different than who I was when I met my ex-husband. ”Audrey: But super, super passive, like all of this is just happening to them, that they’re only meeting this kind of person. Audrey: It’s like a normal thing, but you don’t want to get stuck there. I think I was right before I met my ex, he’s an attractive guy and everything, but I just think I was so nervous about never getting married. You’ve got the hole filling group, and then you’ve got the, “Oh my gosh, I am devastated and scared, and I am never coming back out of my house again,” group. You are becoming your best self, and you’re equipped with experience that helps you know what you want and need! Historically speaking, a very effective leader.” This was one of your favorite and our favorite recent quotes that we featured on our Instagram, and it is just one of many examples of a little bit of content about men, about your exes, about dating, about falling in love again, that you guys have really taken to, and so we know that you want to talk about love and dating after divorce, and we know that the best person to do that with is Laura Lifshitz, who is one of our favorite writers on our blog. But there were a few guys that I got attached to that I shouldn’t have for sure. I can say that if I’d knew what I knew today, and if I felt as confident as I did today as I did back then, my life story would have been totally different, but you know what? Laura Lifshitz: Yes, because a lot of it comes from … All my friends had been married, and I was like, “Well, I have to be.” And I really wanted love, and I think he did too. Our friends were all married, and we really wanted to have that for ourselves, right? Anybody.” And they don’t sit there and say, “Well, why am I attracting bad people? You know, the people that are like, “I’m never going to meet anybody. Somebody who remembers what you say, who really takes the time to put his phone away and pays attention is absolutely like …Audrey: That’s sexy. There were definitely a lot of conversations about my education and my former marriage. I don’t think it’s a hard no for me if they’re not, though. Laura Lifshitz: It’s just another turn on for me, and you know what? I mean, with the last group, the people that lock themselves away, it’s really fear, right? But at the same time, you can sit and be just fine by yourself, and there’s nothing wrong with being alone. When you have confidence in yourself and you have boundaries, it changes a lot. Don’t put in the effort if he’s not putting the effort in. Because we always make what’s important to us a priority. Audrey: I think that’s like the best dating advice just in general for everyone. Laura Lifshitz: Well, the other golden rule of dating that is something that I remind people of is you can not take online dating personally. For all you know, Joshua could have come out of the closet. Audrey: I actually have a friend who was dating a Joshua who ended things and got back together which his ex. Laura Lifshitz: Yes, it is, but I see a lot of people get caught in the cycles of those two groups, because you know, fear. They’re sitting there and saying, “I can hang out by myself and be just fine, or I could get involved with someone and end up sitting there splitting my assets again.” I understand that, I understand the fear of that. It’s not fun for me to still deal with someone who’s difficult, you know, a difficult ex. Laura Lifshitz: But at the same time, you might be missing out on something great. I just want to leave,” or, “Oh, by the way, I’m sleeping with the nanny, and we’re going to get married two months from now,” it does make it very hard for someone to cope, because they didn’t know. For me, my first date, you know, it’s funny, I think he might follow me on Facebook, actually. ” I would say, “You should go out with him,” because he was nice, right? I’ve been able to kind of like keep myself away from anyone bad because I have good judgment now because I have confidence. A friend of mine the other day said, “You know, I messaged this guy and he hasn’t gotten back to me in three days. ”Audrey: You know, this is that episode of Sex In The City that the movie He’s Just Not That Into You is based on. A guy who’s not is not going to be putting in that effort. You know, I say that because you shouldn’t chase after somebody because the reality is if somebody wants you around they’ll find a way to make it happen whether you guys are far away, whether you guys have children on different custody schedules you just make it happen, right?
On the Worthy blog and social channels there is always one topic that gets the most hits: love and dating after divorce. Laura Lifshitz: But we weren’t obviously a love match. I don’t think he’s ready.” It’s funny, I almost wanted to text him and be like, “Look, you know, I don’t think you’re ready, but I’m here for you as your friend, and I’m going to encourage you.”Audrey: That’s so sweet. Audrey: Right, you’re not willing to waste your time because you feel that your time is valuable. Laura Lifshitz: Exactly, you know, you’re not supposed to bend yourself into a pretzel in order to fit someone’s desires. Audrey: Yeah, when you want something you make it happen. If you’re swiping left and right and you match with, let’s just say, Joshua. Joshua could have decided to get reconnected with his girlfriend from high school. I think I was still fresh and still unsure and in the “what’s wrong with me” needy stage that I went out with him twice and I was like … This is something else I think women need to not do off the bat. Laura Lifshitz: Okay, the first message he sent me was, “What are you looking for? No matter where you are in your own journey this episode is for you. They just let people walk all over them or they’re like, “I don’t want to do this, but I’m going to do this.” Or you know what? We knew the best person to chat about this with is Laura Lifshitz, one of our favorite writers on the Worthy blog! This guy messaged me and he said something really not that great, but I’m going to go out with him anyway. You have to sit there and have expectations of how you want to be treated. Laura Lifshitz: I was like, “Actually, never, and this is the end of our conversation.”Audrey: Yeah, good for you.