Getting back out there dating

How do you know when the person you like likes you back?

How long should you wait before returning that special someone’s call? Thanks to technological advances on the dating front, gauging the romantic interest and compatibility of potential mates is as simple as a swipe-and-click.

When someone who we’ve been close to suddenly steps out of our lives, it can leave a huge emotional void.

It can conjure up feelings of loneliness, vulnerability, anger, sadness, fear, and hurt, and the natural reaction is to go on a desperate mission to fill that void. It was my choice, and though it was a difficult decision, I left it somewhat hurt but with an overall positive and empowered feeling. Despite me feeling strong, independent, and grounded, it somehow left a need for me to seek male approval elsewhere to prove that yes, I could in fact do better than the man I just ended my relationship with.

So I hit the town, and before I even began to unleash myself to the male species, I felt a massive sense of underwhelm. It wasn’t my ex-boyfriend, it wasn’t a man in general, and it wasn’t a lack of confidence or assurance. So, the following week, here is what I did instead: Lack of respect and lack of being heard were two major factors.

“They’re crazy,” you’ll say, without ever taking responsibility for the roles you played in the past.

As my friend Jamie says, “Crazy recognizes crazy,” and she’s right.

It’s also a great defense against the glaring distractions of stand-ins for the real thing. Jolie-Pitt, and despite what you might think about how the whole Brangelina thing went down, her words speak to the importance of moving beyond our self-limiting perspectives of love. Get back in the saddle by remembering that our power to make new, loving choices only exists in the present.

You don’t have to have a perfect upbringing in order to experience love.

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