Depressed person dating depressed person
The intention of fixing someone may be good, but it can make the person with depression feel you are looking down on them or don’t accept them.This bothers both sexes, but it seems to irritate men significantly more, according to the therapists and men Talkspace interviewed.Without excusing the behavior, be patient and understand this person is not at the core of who your man is. Protecting your mental health is more important than being with him, no matter how much it seems like he has become everything to you.If the relationship is bringing you more pain than happiness — despite attempts to make it healthy — leaving is the right decision.If the behavior hurts you emotionally, you should know he most likely did not intend to, said matchmaker Cassie Moffit, who has successfully matched couples with mental illness.Knowing this will allow you to be more patient and understanding.“Women who are ‘fixers’ have actually been a trigger for me that makes my depression worse,” said TED talk mental health speaker Mike Veny.
Depression often works like a game of telephone where no one wins. The person with depression would love to receive this kindness as it is, but their depression has set up a series of negative filters.
By understanding these issues and knowing how to respond, you can support the man you love without threatening the relationship or your emotional wellbeing.
Note: We discuss the following insights in the context of dating men, but they apply equally to women.
Show him he deserves love that will free him and make his life better rather than becoming another burden. If any man with depression had a choice, he would choose to be rid of it.
One of the most hurtful things you can do to a man with depression is say it is his fault, that he could choose to be better if his will or character was stronger.