Dating online gentlemen

Writing an opening message that reads like a teenager texting from the back of a bus is like going up to someone you've never met in a bar with spinach in your teeth and your pants sticking out of your fly. 5 | Other profile no-no's Of course, you can write all the thoughtful, stimulating messages you want, if your picture collection looks like an Addams Family scrapbook, you're not going to get a response. Sadly, there is little you can do about your face, but there are some common turn-offs beside the aforementioned six-pack shot you can easily avoid. 4 | :-) ;-) :-D Emoticons are always tempting when you're communicating with someone you've never met with no way of knowing how they're going to take a word you say. They are: Myspace selfies (which seem immature and vain), excessive holiday snaps (boring), shots with other girls (suspicious), sports cars (stupid) and, finally, the bizarre trend for people – of both sexes we might add – posing next to sedated lions or tigers during some witless moment on their gap year (suggesting you're naïve, cruel or possibly involved in the illegal fur trade).

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2 | Copy and pasting One of the biggest problems with the internet is that people so rarely ask themselves In a more traditional setting of, say, a pub, walking from girl to girl trying exactly the same line on each of them would be borderline psychopathic. ' to 10 different women in a row is equally transparent (and ineffective). 3 | Spelling and grammar …Which brings us to another point.

Today, young, beautiful, desirable people of all age groups huddle over Tinder together in pubs like it's a modern day Pong machine.

There's no shame left in being on OKCupid or Plenty Of Fish or – or at least no more than, say, owning a copy of David Gray's is 'OK' with internet dating in 2014.

For this reason, some women may insist you meet at your destination.

If this is the case, arrive first (never keep a lady waiting), and stand to greet her when she does arrive.

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