Dating in 1970

They were afraid they would be rejected out of hand, or made fun of.

And they, too, were afraid of being trapped into being with someone who was undesirable.

Answering advertisements was not yet entirely respectable, but I knew of some doctors and lawyers who married someone they met under these circumstances, (including a friend, who was a psychiatrist.

The person he met and married was another psychiatrist.) There were two problems inherent in advertising for dating purposes, or answering such advertisements.

Spending a couple of hours with someone who was unattractive and unappealing was not too much of a price to pay for the chance to have met someone who might be attractive and appealing.

It was also possible, sometimes, to do something that was entertaining, even with someone who was unattractive and unappealing.

In another time and place, matchmakers would have been called upon to make the necessary arrangements; but no such social institution existed here in this country.

There was need for an organized way for young couples to meet for the first time. Way, way back in frontier days, men in the wilderness advertised in Eastern newspapers for a bride.

It turned out the men they were introduced to this way were no more or less dangerous than men encountered for the first time in a bar, or even men whom they met through the recommendation of a friend. (A somewhat older, recently divorced, woman told me she was sitting with her date at a fancy restaurant when he took out his teeth and put them in a wine glass.) Being pro-active, as I usually am, I encouraged men and women, too, to try dating this way, although, certainly, only after taking reasonable precautions.Women made the trip west with the expectation that they would marry and be happy-- more or less.And it turned out they did and were, although there is never very much evidence about whether or not a particular married couple is really happy.During that particular time, after college, men and women sometimes found it difficult to find each other.The same was true for those who did not go to college in the first place.

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