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I watched Korean dramas and practiced taekwondo; he watched and chowed pretzels at baseball stadiums and air-guitared to Blink-182. And now, more than two years later, we’re discussing marriage.

The fact that David happens to be white didn’t bother me ... Another friend said, “Well, he’s got a type.” Yet another acquaintance said, “Yeah, you’re the type white boys will go for.” These reactions all came from fellow Asian folks.

From the pit of my gut came complex feelings of irritation, fear, and ... I traced those feelings back to when I first arrived in the United States as a teenage immigrant.

I remember my Asian American friends warning me to watch out for boys with an “Asian fetish”—an ugly term for a non-Asian man who’s attracted to Asian females, presumably due to stereotypes.

In terms of cultural background, David and I couldn’t be more different.

These are confusing times when it comes to racial issues, and I’d like to address one subtopic that’s gained attention: interracial couples—or more specifically, the increasingly criticized trend of Asian women dating white men.

It’s a divisive issue fraught with emotion and misunderstanding, and weighed down with historical, cultural, and social baggage.

Nowhere in that interview did I hear her talk about being equally yoked or seeking commitment, mutual respect and trust, sacrificial love, and open communication.

Instead, she focused on skin color, sociology, and how it made her feel about herself. In the United States, it’s been only a few decades since the Supreme Court overturned laws banning interracial marriage in some states.

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