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And it wouldn’t be complete without a sexist little Red State style stab at Hillary Clinton, who will soon be the nations first Lesbian Witch Vampire President. We’ve learned that son #1 will have a leg up on treating his eventual bride like “helpmeet”, ignoring her when convenient but holding exclusive rights to her time when he needs her.

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROC UTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE. We’ve learned that young women can’t be trusted with control of their own dirty dirty lady bits, so we must protect our noble and pure young men from skanks and sluts.

In 50 words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you?

In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you? You will be contacted in writing if you are approved.

Write a short essay which explores the rise of Eurostyle board games in the United States. Peter Jackson's adaptation of The Lord of the Rings is flawed because all major characters suffer from self-doubt, which undermines Tolkien's central theme that in the face of an impossible situation human beings have a variety of choices available to them, some healthy and others unhealthy.

Please include titles such as The Settlers of Catan and Carcassonne, and explain the importance of Dominion's win of the 5. It also damages other central themes such as loyalty among friends.6. Explain why Episodes I-III damage the Star Wars franchise.b.

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROC UTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.Please answer the following questions on a separate sheet of paper using proper grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure:1. List your three favorite board games and explain why they are your favorites.2. Explain why is a terrible board game and suggest improvements.b. As the chill bony hands of Old Man Winter settle onto your holiday weary shoulders… the nervous giggle of teenage girls in line for the chance to drop the star quarterback into the stale beer scented dunking booth. A list that did not, in our humble opinion, reflect well on the outdated patriarchal notions of the t-shirt bearer. We hoped that at least our sons might escape such ridiculous overprotective scrutiny of their dating choices. Whilst discussing the List on our super secret Facebook Group, our own J. Hovey came across this delightful example of Mom’s Gone Fascist… This gem was posted to Facebook (and easily accessible by the Google), by a lovely mom who goes by the handle Goodwill Librarian (there are actually many variations on this meme, we’ll be picking on this one because it is the first result on the Google search. Are we expecting our potential suitor to come with some sort of landed title or dowry? NAME_______________________________________ ALIASES ______________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________ HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA______________ SOCIAL SECURITY#________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________ IQ _________ BLOOD TYPE _____ GIRL SCOUT RANK AND BADGES________________________________________ HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______ Do you have parents? Note to my daughters, don’t give out your Social Security number to just anyone. Also, Only vampires want to know your blood type before a date. We’ve learned that the dating game will be no walk in the park for the boys.as the snow drifts pile and the Christmas credit card bills accumulate… Let your mind wander back to the halcyon days of summer. You cover it with mustard and relish and eat it no matter what it is likely doing to your arteries. In the distance you here the rumble of engines, the shattering of glass, the tortured scream of twisting metal. If you feel the need to respond to the original post after visiting here, please be civil. ___Yes ___No #of years they have been married ______ If less than your age, explain why ______________________________________ If not explain why ___________________________________________________ Here we have all the information one might need if you were perhaps the I. They will be expected to conform to the model imposed by their authoritarian parents, no matter what might make them happy, (we’re rooting for son #2 to move to the coast and find a nice young man and with bungalow and a garden).

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